Squishable Narwhal (15")

Why horses? When we think, "What kind of animal really needs a horn on its head?" why do we immediately think "a horse"? I mean, the poor thing would develop all kinds of back problems, and each friendly nuzzling would turn the recipient into shishkabobs.

Stick that horn on a whale instead! Light and sleek, blue and wiggly, !@#$ adorable...in aquatic dueling, a well-equipped whale is sure to beat its equine competition every time.

A horn on a whale: it just makes sense!